Calypso Burkez
a.k.a. GumbyLove

Calypso Burkez was born January 13th 1823 in a small rural town in Maine. During his early youth he tended to be beaten and molested by a neighbor who dressed all in green from dead to toe. During his teenage years in 1952 he befriended a local fat kid named Terry Bolea and taught him survival techniques while hunting elk in Manhattan. It was during this time that Calypso first got his taste of sweet sweet coke.

He continued on his cocaine binge for years and slowly rose to power in Columbine… he then realized he was in the wrong country and headed to Columbia. There he was last known to own over 400 acres of land and ran his own mini empire.

Calypso doesn’t speak with us here at WTFEntertainment — he just shows up with an article that he gives through an intermediary courier service and has us post it.

I wonder if he’s wanted or something?