The Simpson family, long known for their Television series, has spawned countless merchandise including clothing, video games, bedding, etc. for the past 18 years. Since their start on the Tracy Ullman show they have won the hearts of America and became the longest running television show of it’s kind. They have been hard at work bringing the new Simpson’s Movie to life as of late and it has been rumored that this notoriety and the pressure of Hollywood has been getting to the family.
Early Monday morning at 8:32 AM, Television’s favorite eternally young baby; Maggie Simpson was arrested on charges of Drug Trafficking when local law enforcement found a secret compartment in her bedroom. The drugs weighed 135.4kg and included 384,000 tablets and 20kg in powder form, the street value around $20M. This brought the question to authorities of where the drugs initially originated from.
Early rumors pointed towards the drugs being imported in by Miss Simpsons long time accomplice and closest confidant Morris Szyslak, owner of Moe’s Tavern, and known Bootlegger. Maggie is no stranger to Moe’s and is often seen there with her father, Homer Simpson.
You may remember Maggie’s previous controversy’s including the attempted murder of both her own father, and Millionaire C. Montgomery Burns. While she was acquitted of all charges relating to these two events it became very evident that Maggie was not quite done with her criminal activity. What makes this all the more tragic is that her loving family apparently could not be reached for comment on this event. However an anonymous photo did come into our offices earlier today which shows that the accused Maggie Simpson maybe simply be a cover for the true story behind the drugs.
When asked for a comment on the photograph Simpson’s lawyer, Lionel Hutz, only had the following words to say.
“We all know that the Simpson’s have had their fair share of controversy over the years, I am sure as their Lawyer that everything will iron itself out slowly and that my clients will be acquitted of all charges. Miss Maggie Simpson has nothing to do with the Ecstasy that was confiscated and I have the evidence to make sure all charges are dropped. As for the photo that was released to press earlier, my clients have given me the following statement. “no comment”. Which as you can see proves that the photo is obviously doctored and fake in every way.”
As you can see in the picture there is a substantial amount of Ecstasy in a pile next to Miss Maggie Simpson. This along with her constant use of a pacifier lead to a drug problem that could have been going on for 17+ years. Experts say that Maggie may have been held hostage by her family over the years and fed her the drugs to keep her in line and dependent on the family so that they could continue the show.
More on this story as it develops.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
posted by: Stevo
posted by: Stevo
posted by: Stevo
Well, there goes my connection.